Sorry I Did This To You (Conclusion)

Read the previous part here…

When I woke up, my brain struggled to fully switch on. My joints were numb. I need no one to tell me some creepy sinister had happened the previous eve. The time is already 4 in the morning. One question reverberates around  all corners of my heart: where is Kunle?

The question would not answer itself, so I dragged my pale body out of the ruffled bed to get something for my somnolent head. I took a second look at the bed with my fluctuating eyes. Thoughts of what could have happened sent cold shivers down my spine. My feet trembled as my body almost collapsed to the ground. I held firm to the bed rim.

Nothing could have happened.  Kunle would never do this to me.

I was afraid of thinking the worse or thinking anything at all. My grip tightened on the bed rim as I struggled to regain my body. I was not a science student but I knew my drowsiness was not natural. Something is missing, the most obvious of which is Kunle; he is not yet in sight.

I tried gulping as much oxygen into my lungs, then crawled my fingers on the wall as I trailed to the kitchen. I switched the tap and filled two glass of water.

When the cup met lips, it felt like a spoon hitting on dry flakes. My heart jumped out of my mouth. I didn’t know when I ran for the mirror. My joint constantly jerked backed. My body was afraid of discovering the truth. I persisted and dragged on.

I met the mirrors with my eyes shut. My heart scared of rediscovering a truth I already suspected in my mind. My body was fidgeting.  Kunle was nowhere to be found. Kunle must have done this to me.

In fears, I finally found courage to open my eyes. Myself was gone.

The lip gloss felt erased, like a chalk print wiped clean by a pitched black paint. I struggled to recognize the lady-ghost staring at me from the mirror. Her eyes looked robbed of light. This was not the me I saw last yesterday.

Without thinking, I unconsciously collapsed into the floor. Tears trickled down my face like a dam about to break. I wanted to be wrong but I wasn’t. Kunle was still nowhere to be found. He is the only one that can tell this truth is a lie. He is the only one that can wake me up in this scary nightmare.

In his absence, I seek the truth in the mirror. There is nothing as painful as seeking the truth in the mirror.

I rescued myself from the floor and rose up. My fears were still unconfirmed. Maybe nothing had happened. I tried recollecting what took place the previous night.

I remembered Kunle – my ex boyfriend. I remembered preparing dinner for the two of us. I remember him bringing drink – the Chivita drink. I struggled to remember other things. They were buried beyond foggy layers – far in the dark corner of my consciousness that I couldn’t reach – and I was afraid of breaching there. The truth can be scary, I do not need anyone to remind me that.

“Jesus Christ!” I clapped my hands in frustration.

A slimy pint crawled down my laps to rewind my mind to the night I didn’t remember happening. My heart broke into a thousand pieces. I picked my body and raced for the bedroom. A sudden reality dawned on me as I run.

I have been drugged and raped – two things I’ve done before – in one night.

My eyes burst into tears as I dashed into the room. My body collapsed into the floor before I could catch the bed. My fingers clutched tight to the bed rim in throbbing reality of what had happened. My eyes were smoggy again. I pulled the bed shit in pain.

A folded paper flew out of the ruffled bed sheet. It had scribbled writings that my misty eyes could not pick. I struggled to read the one line message on the crumbled shit of the paper.

“I’m sorry for doing this to you.”

I almost collapsed into the floor wishing I was wrong. Instantly, I started wishing for death and a way to make it happened fast. I have been tricked and robbed in the most impious way. Things would never remain the same again.

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